this does not ramble.
strange, isn't it my pink piranhas. today is monday. in one hour and ten minutes it will be a tuesday. on tuesdays i go to school. tomorrow is the day i think i will decide to eat a cat. i will name the cat sprinkles. sprinkles will be a strange cat that is unloved. and i will tell sprinkles: "I love you Sprinkles." and eventually the cat's paranoia will go. go fly away where the sun don't shine. and me and sprinkles will be best friends for awhile. how long, how long do you think is good comrades? i used to think a day would be a sufficient amount of time before my cat barbecue, but this has passed. passed like furby. now, my friends. now i think that this is too risky. and besides, droogs, why not have a good time before i eat it. its not like i'm starving really is it? no. not starving. not like starvin' marvin. i've just eaten a cake made of sugar, spice and everything nice. i'm not hungry. tomorrow i will find sprinkles. in a week i will eat sprinkles. get it on.

oh my fellow comrades, today was the day i found sprinkles the cat. say hello sprinkles. meow!

dearest deadly rubber duckies...there is a problem. there is a problem with sprinkles the cat. oh my friends, maybe its not sprinkles the cat. what did sprinkles the cat do? what did that demon cat from hell do, my green tambourines? well, i shall tell you. though i am not certain whether it is the fault of sprinkles the cat or myself. you see, today i was impatient. sprinkles the cat said "my guitar wants to kill your mama, my guitar wants to burn your dad." i look at the cat and got very angry. my friends, how can i express my anger? why was i angry, you demand? what is it that you think? dost thou think that i should be pleased with the fact that I have found a cat who is not a complete retard? well, despite what your imbecile mind may think, this did not please me. haven't you all seen the cartoons with the singing frog? well, I have, even if you haven't. you and your moronic minds always attacking me. always. don't think i don't understand you. i understand all you non-cat-eating arrogant people. there was a time when i was one of you. but my friends, these days are past. all in the past. NOW, now in the day of today, the future, i see how it is. in the past i was a repulsive numbed brainwashed slave. but these days are past. now, now my friends, i am a fascinating being. this is true, yes? isn't this true. tell me its true. i don't think i'll be able to stand it if you tell me i am insane, nothing more. nothing more at all. nothing more than someone who has lost the capacity to act intelligently. for you see, rabbit ears, i am intelligent. its all you non-cat-eaters who are the repulsive people. madness is a difficult thing to describe. its not really a loss of sense and mind. no, its not that at all. its more of losing a sense of normalcy. you repulse me with your repulsion of me. yes, oh yes you do little field mice. we're all mad here. we're all crazy now.

what has happenned to sprinkles the adorable cat with the whiskers and black ears? thou demandest.
are you saying that i have gotten off topic, my friend? i inquire.
yes, thats exactly what i mean. you reply. I shake my head as I can't quite believe your stupidity and condescention.
listen to me, carrot eyeball, i am never off topic. i say what i mean. maybe sprinkles the cat is less important now. hast thou ever thought of that? anger is seeping into my words. because i don't supress my emotions anymore.
thought of it, but i was so enthralled with the story of snowflake the cat.
SPRINKLES THE CAT! SPRINKLES, YOU STUPID WHORE!
ah. sprinkles...the cat...that you were going to barbecue.

I can see your repulsion clearly. i can see your fear. do i scare you monkey toe? you run away. no matter...i have sprinkles the cat to keep me company. i don't need you.

isn't it good, norweigan wood?

hello droogs. i have calmed down considerably. i can understand your apprehension at the idea of talking to me. i am, after all, slightly "mad"...don't you dare call me crazy.or mentally diseased or whatever fancy words you have for insanity now. fancy words for everything. retards aren't retards anymore, are they lemon pie? no...now they are mentally handicapped. but, they wouldn't notice if you call them retards...they wouldn't notice if you call them stupid morons. the indians...or natives. or native americans. or north american aboriginal people. or first nations. or whatever. they go out and make the governement change it i assume. but where are the retards? are they petitioning? this isn't politically correct is it yellow limes?

ah, sprinkles the cat. my beloved sprinkles...i was telling you of the cats or my mistakes, yes? sprinkles it turns out, was satan. not literally i should say before you think i am incredibly mad. sprinkles, it turns out had the same idea as i did. if you can imagine, sprinkles the cat acted as my friend to...shudder...barbecue me. there is a saying my mother taught me. the golden rule it was, i believe. yes. now i have learned it. and karma. karma police arrest this man. he talks in maths. he buzzes like a fridge. so, after sprinkles my fluff ball told me to have a nap on the barbecue, i was suspicious. but i was also tired. so, when i awoke i discovered that sprinkles the cat was trying to barbecue me. the lid was closed. I screamed and sobbed trying to escape. and then i did. i discovered sprinkles trying to use the matches. thank goodness cats don't have thumbs. so, since i discovered sprinkles the cats mind is nearly identical to mine, we have become the best of friends. right, sprinkles?